A few weeks ago Alex and I found the insides of my kitty in the field behind the house. It was so traumatic to see. And I have not felt loss like this in a long time.
It gives me a chance to settle into uncomfortable feelings which I have been feeling anyway, around all the change and transition in my life right now. I don’t do change well. Not many do.
Many people are creatures of habit. I also happen to be a creature who likes to be in control.
I love the beauty and coziness of autumn, but it is usually an uncomfortable time. The days get shorter and I feel less in control of my exercise schedule. Many people get sick from over working and not taking time to rest during the summer months. Colds and weakened immune systems can be a signal from the body that it is time to begin going inward, and sometimes it feels forced. It is a time of letting go. It is a time of being.
This autumn, I have to let go of the spirit of my dear friend and spirit cat. She is now part of a coyote, this was probably her life long dream! She always wanted to be wild.
I will go inward and feel the feelings, because that’s the thing to do this time of year. I will honor her spirit on the day of the dead, and the spirits of my ancestors who have gone before me and walk with me each day, watching over me and guiding me. Knowing that brings me acceptance.