The trickster has come to teach me a lesson.
After crossing my path in the wilderness several times in the past few weeks, howling outside my tent, and in my dreams, surely he has something he needs to tell me, and I think it is that I have been taking myself too seriously.
Remember Wiley Coyote? His antics were pretty silly, sorta stupid, and really funny! Well, that is Coyote medicine: laughter and joking. Coyote plays tricks on himself more than anyone else.
Coyote might be telling me that I might not even be aware of my foolishness; maybe I have conned everyone into believing that I know what I’m doing. I have certainly conned myself into believing I can control the outcomes of my decisions. I can’t control any outcomes. I can control how I treat others and how I react to the obstacles life throws at me. But really I need to laugh at this crazy journey I am on.
Recently I read this blog entitled “Unconfidence” and I really liked the author’s message: You are enough. Don’t pretend you are already there when you know you have a lot to learn. Make decisions on the belief that you can deal with their consequences, not with the fear that you can’t. You can choose your behavior, but you can’t control your behavior’s outcome. This is real confidence.
I need to embrace and feel the vulnerability and pain here and move forward fearlessly.